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Poetry
This page archives my attempt at rhyming verse.
Free Verse Poems
Chemistry Sucks
Mindless, droning chemistry
Proves I am not scholarly
Why fill my mind with knowledge here
Science is all but my career
Cruel stoichiometry
From hell's heart I stab at thee
TAKS review monotonous
The school board is most gluttonous
To make us learn this useless crap
Our freedom in a jar they trap
On propaganda we are high
"Life's a bitch and then ya die"
Caffeine
Thank divinity above
For carbonation that I love
Containing vast rejuvination
Metabolism remuneration
The only thing sustaining me
Is Dr.Pepper and green tea
Through this enervating Monday
Few things strike me as more mundane!
The cause of this, I'm confident
My subconscious' austere intent
Was not to rest me pleasantly
But institute fatality
I Am Tired
Something's slipping away from me
An intangible commodity
Drawing from my entity
The remnants of my energy
What remains, I cannot tell
My consciousness is far from well
Dementia, drowsy nightmare's spell
Insomnia is clearly hell
Glasses
"Eureka!" said I, "I can see!"
My spectacles a remedy
As once I saw nearsightedly
What lied afar: the grass, the trees.
Miracle of optic bliss
Aware now of my carelessness
Am I, gentle optometrist
For years I had delayed this tryst.
Announcements Suck
O, foul abominable wenches'
Broadcast- from my soul wrenches
Hateful wrath and evil tension
A plague upon civilization!
Ill-written are these hags' melodies
What soul enjoys such trite malarkies?
My weekdays would improve most amply
If StuCo lied in cemetary.
Buddy
O, Buddy, my colorless canine companion
Dancing 'round, a victorious champion
Grasping my unfortuante sock in your feeble maw!
As I wrestle fabric from dog demanding
Ivory underbite notwithstanding!
My balance absquatulating
Sending me precipitating
Reprimanding, condemnating
Onto my unrelenting hardwood floor!
Up in a hurry,
A painful flurry
Of snaps and cracks and clicks departs my spine.
No Egg in my lunch
O dreary lunch, o des’late bag
Prepared for me by useless hag
Her neglect makes lunch a drag.
This lunch is bland! Makes me gag.
For there exists inside this sack
A sandwich, drink, but then a lack
Of pickled egg! With pepper black
I would partake of such of snack.
Alack the goy, nightmarish night
Where careless packing gives me fright
And such interminable blight
To have no egg is less than right.
Bastard Borrowing a Pencil
Immeasurable cruelty!
My pencil you have deprived me.
To add to this atrocity,
I cannot get it back from thee!
O woe, my writing apparatus
Stolen! As the noble Brutus
Robbed a life of noble Julius!
So hast they mulcted my precious!
Ode to Cookie
Round disc of calorie energy
Few snacks match my big round cookie.
Composed mostly of unbleached wheat flour,
Some lecithin (emulsifier),
Alas for small nutritious content
Unhealthiness is its department.
Yet savory is this fatt’ning pastry.
(Until I need angioplasty.)
Janitor
Sir Janitor, I ponder you.
Why, for this job, your life you threw?
Mysterious and silent churl
Who must mop up lunches of girls
You sit, a somber sentinel
The benefits were not dental –
Your teeth glow somewhat yellow now,
Your weight equates to half a cow!
Your eye contains a cataract
For sure you occupy a shack.
Fake Apple
One dull afternoon in May,
My observations oddly lay
Dwelling on the desk of my sensei.
Upon close study, I did see
An apple! How plump and round was he.
A bite from this would surely bring me glee.
Creeping round the classroom now
Arriving at the desk, and how
My teeth to sink in fruit I did allow!
OW!
This was no apple after all!
A wooden prop! I stood, appalled
Cradling a canine from my jaw!
Shiny Companion (during the test)
Nickel, I observeth thee
Grinning back with toothy glee
I take a break from poetry
A cent and four is richer me!
Looking round the classroom now
Perspiration on idiot’s brow
Simple minds will not allow the passing of the TAKS test.
Wow.
Companion in education’s hell
Five-cent piece can surely tell
More-than-passive anger swells
In me – at heads where wisdom scarcely dwells
O clock, whose crude art makes me glow
With fiery rage, hard not to show
If only you would crawl so slow
And down the river Styx then row
The sound of wildlife that I hear
Makes it evidently clear
To me that I would make you fear
A pick axe in your plastic rear
Haikus
Darwin meets the Lord
Man made in his own image
God's a dumb monkey
Dumbass trips on stairs
Carrying forks, loses eyes
Now he can't climb stairs
The Pope goes to hell
Looking around, sees no children
The Mormons were right
Bush bombs cities of France
Propaganda ensues, we sigh
Now it's Freedom fries
Catholics bow in church
One man is in a wheelchair
He goes to hell now
Fish eats his food
Looking through the glass at eyes
Cat eats his food
Conservative man
Votes to ban gay people, why
Is struck by lightning
Retard playing ball
Projects an orange sphere at me
Stabby death ensues
Really short girl dies
I stepped on her after lunch
It was amusing
A sandy candle
Its lifespan ended tonight
Lack of flame torments
Television kills
The mind absorbs visual crap
Reality shows suck
Chainsaws are grindy
Joe’s legs sadly comprehend
Now he walks on stubs
Ford rolls off the road
Metal objects pierce the parts
Ford’s bleeding a lot
Drain-O is poison
Joe’s dog feels the chemical wrath
Antifreeze is worse
Pocky satisfies
Pretzel stick of tasty cocoa
Sure beats heroin
Texan Fascism
Standardized test is for fools
I will firebomb now
Carl Sagan was wrong
Aliens walk among us
Look, Michael Jackson